karma is a bitch in tampa bay

well, all of those years of joking about the helpless tampa bay devil rays has really turned around and bitten the american league on it's ass. Wang pitched 1 inning and gave up nine runs. tonight i think i'll watch little people, big world instead... (as i type this it is now 10 - 0 in the 3rd, and it was girardi's great idea for the yankees to break camp and start this season without a long man.....it's gonna' be a long night) 

*** update: 15 - 5 in the bottom of the eighth and the one and only nick swisher is making his PITCHING debut! it's a bit early in the season to just start throwing them away, joe. and somehow those wbc mercy rules don't sound as silly as they did in march. how many millions of dollars worth of arms do the yankees have and nick fucking swisher is the only yankee who can pitch a scoreless inning??? he even struck out gabe kapler for christs sake (and showed up kapler as he asked for the ball and tossed it into the dugout to keep as a souvenir). maybe that was girardi's reward to all of us sad fools watching at home who sat through this fucking train wreck. swisher's era is officially 0.00 and wang's is 28.93... fuck me with a crooked stick......

why not???

a word on the new road uni's if i may?

the rem-dog wearing the new uni. i really like them, they remind me of the old school uni of my youth. you know boggs, oil can, and greenwell.

the only question is, who's number to get? lester...he's the lead candidate. pedroia...eh, he might be replacing ellsbury as the ladies favorite if jacoby continues his descent to the bottom of the batting order. beckett...he's my boy but will he leave us in free agency? lugo....just kidding. bay....mmaayybbeee but he needs to be resigned first. time will tell. youk?....yes i think thats the one.....i remember when youk hit his frst homerun i remember how happy he was just to sit on the bench when he was a young pup. the greek god of walks....

back to the rem-dog, he was sick on friday and they had orsillo doin' play by play and a few other guys doin' color throughout the game. it was just a simple reminder of how lucky we are to have jerry and his cigarette laced golden pipes. there is something so authentic about his fall river accent. and tommy of the celtics too. these old announcer guys with boston accents and homerisms....they're just gonna be replaced by smooth sounding guys with no connection to boston and it just scares the crap out me.

C.C. is a monster/ Joba get's his first start today

CC throws 7 and 2/3 scoreless innings. i love this guy, especially the fact that he has to be pulled from the game kicking and screaming. he'd pitch evryday if you let him. now if someone could get him to stop tugging on his pant cuff after evry pitch i would be happy, certain players have nervous ticks that once i notice them i can't stop watching them, and it drives me up the fucking wall. anyways, my boy Swisher went 2 for 3, with a triple and a two run homerun, chugging down red bulls between innings and refusing to be a back up player, you've got to love that. he'll probably be one of those "hey, do you remember that guy in april who was great for a week?" kind of stories, but we'll take any offense we can get- ransom and gardner are instant death at the end of the lineup... Joba goes today, personally i hope he is awful, he belongs in the pen preparing for Mariano's job in two years. a sweep of Kansas City is my easter sunday prediction........ in other news: tomorrow is opening day at PNC Park for the Pittsburgh Pirates, and yes- hostages get in free.

*** a bit of an afternoon letdown, i'd blame it on the Easter candy, but i haven't had any Easter candy. the yanks lose it in the Kansas City rain while tiger and mickelson make it interesting, but not interesting enough, at the masters. fuck- at least they got that guy off that fucking boat. 

yanks win 1(***2) and fuck you, tiger!

so the Yanks finally win one, and i am beginning to realize that this team is full of maniacs. Burnett is kinda' creepy with that weird look on his face and the odd tattoos, Damon who won't argue with the umps because he doesn't want to upset his young children who may be watching at home, and Nick Swisher who is just totally nuts. (5 rbi on thursday). if you ask me this is exactly what the Yankees need, A PERSONALITY! the pinstriped businessmen act is getting old, they need to get back to the bronx zoo style of the late 70's, give me something to care about. now the circus travels to Kansas City, which will hopefully start a trend of the Yankees sweeping these triple a level teams and reserving their strength for games that matter with Boston and Tampa and whatever city the Angels are from this year. Pettitte vs. Ponson- my favorite Yankee work horse vs. my favorite drunken aruban dui court  judge puncher, this one should be over early..... (oh- and fuck you, tiger woods. slowly but surely you are tricking me into watching motherfucking golf. what do you want me to do next, tiger? take up knitting? it's the same fucking thing as watching golf....)

*** and that's the way i like it, an easy win over KC in less than 3 hours. Pettitte had 7 dominating innings, Bruney and Mariano did their work, game over. the only question now is: Swisher or Nady? Nady was named the everyday right fielder, but Girardi loves Swisher and he started him for the second straight game today. i enjoy this little bit of spring training competition continuing into the regular season- make them fight for it and eventually trade the loser. Nady is alright with me, but i am sure they can use him in the eventual trade for Holladay in the next couple of months. fingers crossed... restart C.C. tomorrow, show me what that money buys! (and in golf news: master's coverage is very gay. a lot of camera shots of birds, and those fucking azaleas, and the sound of so many hushed british accents, close-ups on squirrels nibbling nuts, the television hosts in that cabin with the roaring fire, and the softest soft guitar playing in the back round. a black man or two, except for tiger they are always a caddy, and NEVER a woman allowed. very strange. no commercials and no network logos on the television screen do make it all quite enjoyable. golf is like a nap in the basement of the library...)

the captain

two homers in the opening series...not to mention a huge homer against the rays in the playoffs last year.

this begs the question: is the dead bat of varitek experiencing a resurgence? his power numbers have never been spectacular but last year he was an easy out.... .220 ain't a way to keep you captaincy on the best baseball team of the decade. one thing i know for sure. it felt like the 03-04 'tek all week and that made me feel twenty pounds lighter...5 years younger and 12% more handsome.

I am a fatty, gooey shell of myself....up next....the los angeles angels of los angeles featuring chris angel.

full disclosure: i did not watch this game

apparently we lost though....a few thoughts on the beginning of the baseball solstice.

it's freaking cold out...during opening day it was snowing up here in the white mountains. i spent most of my opening day barely paying attention simply because my body temperature will not allow me to.

why don't we play games in florida, texas, arizona, and cali for the first month? can something be too logical?

here's the joba dui link  - i have no comment, only because i have dialup and it would take ten days to download a six minute video. in other news: Wang get's his first start since that awful june afternoon where he hurt himself running the bases in houston, ruining any hopes of any kind of yankees postseason, leading to an awful summer full of darrel rasner and sydney ponson. at least we had mussina winning 20. i am not going to sit through another season like that.

opening day 2009 live blog

illustration from the article Boomball @ nymag.com

1019am: yeah, i know the first game was technically last night, but i have nevr been able to sit through more than twenty minutes of any braves game, almost as horrible as trying to watch the mets. it is a perfect day for baseball as i look outside this morning to see nothing but dark ugly skies and falling fucking snow- for christ's sake i think six months of winter is more than enough. i just read an article that argued that since the old yankee stadium is about to be torn down, fenway park is now the cathedral of sports in america. that's a lot of bullshit. yankee stadium hasn't gone anywhere, it's just gotten better. yankee stadium is yankee stadium, there is no "new one" or "old one"- there just happens to be a massive 100 ft by 60 ft hi def screen in center field now. i'll get into my predictions a little bit later, first it's coffee then it's beer... and in other beer news- ellsbury, or whoever else will man center field for the sox should be advised, yankee stadium has lifted the decades long ban on alcohol sales in the bleachers...

251 pm : mets v. reds in a scoreless game. i'd have more fun braiding nooses out of pubic hairs in a ww2 internment camp. so awful in fact that i decided to take apart the garbage disposal and degrease it, exponentially more entertaining and enjoyable than mets baseball. keith hernandez is the creepiest gayest sportscaster around (followed by buck and mccarver, and those assholes who do the whitesox games...) 

here's a link to conan old timey baseball...

9 minutes till yankees pregame. hope it's not snowing in baltimore, the yankees will never tell you in advance if a game is cancelled.

357 pm: the rain let up and a touch of class came out in baltimore as they introduced the yankees bench to beck's song "loser", and the starters are introduced to the star wars "imperial death march", and even the assistant trainer and bullpen coach get a healthy dose of boos...

651 pm: matsui reminds me of how much i missed him last year as he homers in the 7th to bring the yankees within one. i don't care if he can't barely walk the bases, as long as he keeps smashing shots like that i will be satisfied, he was always a liabilty in left field anyways... c.c. was not sharp. not even good. and knowing the yankees luck with free agent pitchers i was extremely worried that inbetween each inning he sat on the bench with a heating pad strapped around his ribs. 

758 pm: well, so much for the yankees undefeated season. i really thought that this would be the year that they went 162- 0, but i say that evry year. i hope the orioles enjoy the win, because in the a.l. east they don't have shit to be excited about. this division is a beast and they are the bitch. on the other hand, IT IS SO FUCKING GREAT to have baseball back again. i can be ignorant to politics again, and get all of my news from the daily show and colbert report and the vaginamonoblogs metrognome... btw- did you see obama shit his pants in turkey as they fired a canon shot after the national anthem? fucking classic..... goodnight. red sox/ rays coverage tomorrow. 

you have to win at least 100 to win the a.l. east this year. and it's not the hitting IT'S THE PITCHING. i am glad the yankees have remembered...

The Yankees 2009 pitching checklist is complete. 

CC- yes.

 AJ- looking sharp. 

Wang- another 20 win season.

 Pettitte- due for a bounceback year, even though he did win 14 last year. 

Joba- needs to be back in the pen preparing to take over for mo in two years, but he can still pitch no matter what inning it is... 

as for Mo- looking as unhittable as ever. 

this team is ready to go. even with ransom at third... 

Breaking News!!!

The Buffalo Bills

(North America's Team)

& The New England Patriots

(a fresh definition of irrelevancy)

will face off as the first monday night game of the 2009 NFL season. (we all know what we need to get ready, i've had enough of that line for awhile...)

in other news: some guy who painted his socks, and is hardly a hall of famer, officially retired today. didn't i retire this jerk-off a year ago? good riddance...again.

we return to where we began - GAY ROD!

only nine more years of this fucking clown...

watching some grapefruit league tonight i realize this team is much more of a "team" without him/her...

KARMA (is a cyst in the hip and a pain in the ass)

AROD OUT FOR AT LEAST 10 WEEKS- 

GET WARMED UP, CODY RANSOM - YOU ARE THE NEW SCOTT BROSIUS!!!

I THINK THE BEST PUNISHMENT FOR THESE GUYS WOULD BE THE PETE ROSE TREATMENT/ BANISHMENT FROM BASEBALL. BUT I'LL SETTLE FOR KARMA IN THE MEANWHILE...

who gives a shit about the wbc?

the world baseball classic only seems like a place where valuable players might go and get injured. the only reason i have to watch is to see BERNIE BABY play for puerto rico. i wanna see if he still has it, yankees center field is still unmanned. it's time for him to knock off that ridiculous religious classical guitar shit he has been doing and return for one last season in pinstripes. i remember his first game way back when. he is my yankee, if you know what i mean.

This seems like an appropriate time to start the Bartles and James 2009 season

Read SI story here!!!

A-Fraud, A-Rod, enough already! I am sure A-Roid will be the next catch phrase to be overused.Can we trade him for Manny? How long before Manny's test results are made public, or Big Papi's???? Sooner rather than later i hope... 

and btw-sportswriting is easy, no one has an original thought. kind of like how everybody thought they were the first to name the Oklahoma City NBA team The Oklahoma City Bombers. 

Red Sox trumped in Teixeira stakes

That's three down,

now it's just:

Lowe, Sheets, Manny, And Pettitte to go!!!

(well, atleast an end of the rotation starter and someone who can play center field. damon is way too dicey. and it's going to be a couple of years before they put jeter out to pasture there...)

Sources: Yanks, Burnett reach 5-year, $82.5M deal

That's two down,

now it's just:

Lowe, Sheets, Tiexeira, Manny, And Pettitte to go!!!

(btw, is mike cameron really necessary??? c'mon. ya'll know better than that)

Sources: Yankees, Sabathia near deal

That's one down,

now it's just:

Burnett, Lowe, Sheets, Tiexeira, Manny, and Pettitte to go!!!

(btw- who's going to play center field???)

it may be time to pull down the bills 4-0 thing. what do i know. the pats did beat the bills last sunday 20-10 to make the bills 5-4 currently.

feel the awesomeness of that title....feel it. caress it. not too much there bro.

i like to remember that they were 4 and 0...

headlines

MUSSINA WINS 20!!!

BILLS GO 4-0!!!

FUNERAL AT SHEA

after careful deliberation

I have decided to support The L.A. Dodgers this postseason.

They got Manny (who went from being a fucking bum to being a brilliant ballplayer the moment he left the a.l. east)

and they got Torre (what else can you say)...

and I do not give a flying fuck about The Rays (a fluke), The Red Sox (who looked like a bunch of little bitches celebrating a wild card clinch), The Mets (fags), The Cubs (yawn), or The Angels The White Sox The Twins The Phillies or anyone else who may be in the playoffs this year.

It all comes down to excitement, and the prospect of Manny returning to Fenway in October is as exciting as it gets.

R.I.P.

sawx rool!

hey bummer about your team sucking. anyways i'm still limp over the explosion of my boyfriend's knee, tom brady's knee. kinda funny nobody really even cares the yankees suck, with the celtics winning into late june and the patriots, etc. well...things are just kinda occupied around here. anyways we broke the consecutive sellout record at fenway, big whoop.

bartles and james has reached absolute zero..

my friends do not exist

now what???

either The Yankees sweep or they may as well pack it up. 2 out of three won't do this time...

signs of the apocalypse

Pavano wins!

it's not mathematically impossible

but damon dropped two easy fly balls in center field. and the yankees could only score one run. and, but, and, but..... is pavano really starting saturday? are the yankees really only one game out of fourth place? they are actually inventing new ways to lose...

manny

hey man, they have like liquid acid out here homes! ever since i fly here i've been like seeing people faces melting off and shit. that's no joke bro. so anyways what's up since i left? hey amigo i here that japanese dude is like coming back and shit? i always thought japanese were retarded mexicans but i just found out it's like it's whole own thing! well good luck making the playoffs amigos!

i am really not sure why i continue to punish myself daily by watching this yankee team lose. i guess my only consolation is that the red sox are definitely not a championship team this year.

world series prediction = diamondbacks v. angels (and who gives a shit) angels win in 5

As a Yankee fan

I will never admit defeat until the first week of October, but there comes a time when all sports fans have to be realistic about their teams current situation. Last night was the first Yankee game I have failed to watch all season. I woke up around 1am and they were losing, no surprise, so I changed the channel and found myself captivated by the gold medal round of women's 10m air rifle. I am seriously considering only watching games in which Mussina pitches, Mussina being the only Yankee who has a chance of winning any award this season. 162 games is such a huge investment of time, and it is a waste to watch loss after loss by a team that has spent close to 2 billion dollars in payroll over the last 8 years and has nothing much to show for it. A Cy Young for Mussina would be impressive, and with 15 wins so far at 39 years old you can't deny that he stands a chance of winning it. (i'll probably keep my eye on Ponson. i love any pitcher who gets a dwi and then starts a fight with an Aruban judge during sentencing...)

it's like watching your girlfriend do some other guy

i've always felt the need, or desire, that i should have a national league team to rout for. back when the yankees ripped my heart out in october 03 and wakefield walked towards the dugout, i swore off the sox for one week. i was an expos fan, hardcore. montreal is only slightly farther than boston, it seemed perfect. than montreal moved to washington...and the sox won my heart back with the schilling trade.

i've always liked the dodgers uniforms. the nationals have a cool stadium and they suck, which believe it or not is a bonus in my decision. and then there is the cubs, the lovable losers. cool stadium and red sox fans and cubs have always had this cousin-like relationship, however they too are very good...the bandwagon factor can not be too emphasized here. i don't like it.

anyways i'm still not sure, but if manny stays in la it might swing my vote and if he leaves it might swing my vote. but i'll be watching no doubt a world series match-up with either the cubs or dodgers would be cool.

hollywood deserve me

I haven't decided how i feel about this trade yet... although, i never liked farnsworth in a big game.

JOBA wins, but Baltimore won 2 popping the Yankee balloon...

Angels up next, and that idea scares me just a bit.

ABSOLUTE DOMINATION pt.2

WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?

MANNY IS A REAL FUCKING PROBLEM, BUT NOT FOR THE YANKEES.

Dámaso Marte!!! welcome to yankees universe

&

how about this fucking guy waking up in a huge way

CANO .514 in the last 8 undefeated games!!!

Sunday Prediction: The Yankees can win with Ponson on the mound as long as they score at least 17 runs. It's not impossible... They already got the series but a sweep would be so fucking sweet.

ABSOLUTE DOMINATION

JOBA FUCKING RULES!!!

GIAMBI'S STACHE KEEPS GETTING DARKER!!!

MARIANO IS KING!!!

and did i mention Xavier Nady and Dámaso Marte are on their way!!!

1 down - 2 to go!!! ( and that is 7 in a row)

live at fenway

a delayed start ot live bloggin due to relationhip issues. we apologize for the delay.

7:19 the moustache is looking good. oh snap beckett punches him out. just proving that two world series rings trumps one steroid aided mvp trophy.

7:23 jobs'a no-hitter breaks up rather early and...wait a minute.....that's big papi's music.....high hopes for this at bat.

7:29 pedroia never fails to make me proud, great steal in the wake of a great strikeout by joba

7:30 now comes the long awaited youk-joba reunion, spine chills...not really. you know minus posada, matsui, damon, sheffield. these guys don't scare me. nice pitch by joba...he's on fire! the way he's headed he might get 7 wins this year!

7:39 beckett doesn't look sharp, at all. more and more it seems francona puts ellsbury in left, with coco in center. with manny's contract being a team option and such good fielders already under contract. i don't know, it makes manny's departure seem somewhat of a foregone conclusion.

7:51 oh damon's in the game! we have a duel folks.

8:12 joba is lighting us up, oh and tek nails miguel. 3 hits, yikes!

8:30-something: varitek simply cannot hit all-star pitching anymore aka breaking balls if you want to call that all-star pitching

9:05 (i had a visitor, thus the delay) we still have a duel. it all seems to hinge on that giambi shift, which i hate, especially when runners are on.

9:09 by the way, the home plate umpire seems to be blatantly prefering high strikes, to the sox disadvantage.

9:10 can't wait for the jeter/farve-like fallout, i wish it would start right now. nothing would please me more than five million yankee fans self-abusing themselves over derek's demise.

9:16 !!!!!!!!!and joba gets his comeupence, nails youk? what? doesn't nail youk? i'm confused. seemed to hit youk but it's 3-0...now it's 2-2....and youk strikes out that is a classic what the fuck at bat. joba is surely turning it up a notch. mariano looms in the distance.


9:24 oh no! i mean yea! it's.... it's javier lopez (god, he sucks half the time) oh no. i mean, yea! he gets the one guy he faces out. and thus starts the chess game. a new pitcher in. it's time like these i miss torre, francona and torre could stretch out a "normal" game at least 20 min with pitching substitutions. i'm not sure if girardi gets that yet.

9:30 delcarmen! with the arod strikeout! that's weird because normally arod is SO clutch? i guess even the greatest have their bad days. and....bye bye manny delcarmen, some sort of hangnail injury no doubt. i wasn't joking about the time difference of a normal game and this.


9:37 oki gets giambino averts widespread depression in new england. film @ 11.

9:46 coco...the baserunning pacifist

9:52 don't get too cocky yankman...eeesh ellsbury caught looking.

9:54 fuuuuuuuuuuuuck, pedroia on a squiber to sandman strands two in the 8th, that's the game. i imagine papelbon os due to arrive? nope oki.

10:00 oki looks competent tonight, gets the job done...sweet

10:05 bottom 9th youk reaches 1 out after ortiz fly, lowell up, drew next

10:10 oh and lowell (the unofficial team captain) gets tossed. 2 outs. and jd strikes out in 2 seconds. yanks are back in the mix.

This is going to be a good one!

The Red Sox and The Rays both had a chance to put The Yankees away early, but they failed. Now they are dealing with a 2nd half team that has so much tradition and a million ghosts behind it. This is going to be a good one. to be continued on Friday... (and hopefully bartles can deal with some actual facts and stats before he posts his complete nonsense)

Official Weekend Prediction

1. Joba throws at or over Youklis' bald fucking head at least 2 times.

2. Ponson picks up at least 2 d.u.i's in Boston

3. Yankees SWEEP!!!

obligatory thursday japanese athlete posting

oh mister cashman, i rearry tink i need to take the year off. aw don't be said, smire! i can spend time with my girfriend. i drew a picture of her. she is beautifur. i tink i may retire...now i'm just being sirry. we are regestered at oscar de ra renta by the way, hint hint.

p.s. brother james: fuck you and your dreams of a yankee pennant

just getting started

hmmm, 6-0 since the break.

Mussina wins his 13th.

evrybody getting big hits.

boston this weekend.

1st place soon enough!!!

it's a mixed up crazy world we're livin' in.

manny: amigo, can we go to material girl's house after this? i've got lot like a "lucky star" i need to show her, comprende?

arod-icus: your crossing the "borderline" manny.

manny: good one bro, but seriously, big papi told me to ask for him too. hey man, you got any like used condoms you no using anymore.

arod-icus: .......

manny: whatever, ese.

how was your weekend?

Yankees sweep. bosox get swept. A fine weekend. The Red Sox look awful and ready for fourth place in the a.l. east. The Yankees seem primed and ready for a brilliant 2nd half and 27th world championship, get on board...

Manny will be a Yankee in 2009.

i don't like it, not one bit

I had a very bad reaction to the home run derby last night, it felt like Yankee Stadium was being violated and I went to bed sick to my stomach.

struggling for a split

Mussina won his eleventh, which really could have been his 13th or 14th. He really has been THAT good and deserves to be on the all star team. The rest of the team is just a mess, a mixture of old timers and triple A stars of tomorrow. It is incredibly frustrating to follow, and Mariano didn't make it any better on Saturday, but the real problem is that you can't pitch him once a week and expect him to look sharp. So tonight we have a Boston old timer going against another Yankees triple A star of tomorrow. We'll see...

(atleast they found out how to pitch to manny)

i think we know who the real evil is this weekend.

look at him...fucking loser

here we go again...

I could hardly recognize Tropicana Field last night, for several reasons. The first being that there were actually fans in the seats and, secondly, because the team on the field was making the Red Sox look stupid, with the brooms out.
On the other hand, I certainly could recognize The Yankees last night, losing a string of easy games and then scoring all their runs in one fucking inning. You should never be excited by defeating the fucking Rangers.

So here we go again. Fourth of July weekend. Same old Sox vs. Yankees. Except something is very, very wrong. Who's in first place? Who is looking convincing in first place? Not The Sox, not The Yankees. The Fucking Rays, and the new rivalry formula truly is X. Vs. Rays.

For this series I have no expectations. Probably a split. We'll see...

R.I.P.

Happy Retirement, Schill! Now you'll have even more time to sit around painting socks...(psssst... wanna be a yankee??)

seven is even better.

6 in a row ain't bad.

Sydney Ponson? seriously?? again?????

maybe Pavano isn't really too far out of the question...

there is no fucking way i am going to allow that.

10 Mother Fucking Wins

manny

youk is driving me loco amigos, first he like wipe my glove on his butt 'cause me and lugo we're stealing gatorades then i see him like disrespecting my dreads, j'know.

hey homes, looks like we in the ohio or something. it means like "good weed" in indian or something. why can't people just speaca de english? i just started dating this chick named amy winehouse bro, we slept in a dumpster last night. i tink i love her amigo.

looks like they keep the gatorade, like, out in the open in ohio too! white people are stupid homes. me and lugo been selling this gatorade to kids for like a lot of money.

Mariano Rivera makes grown men look stupid,
Mariano Rivera makes grown men look weak.

Mariano Rivera is a supernatural force.

what a mess...

Pettitte gave up 10 runs and Mariano gave up a home run, but the Yankees did not lose. Damon went 6 for 6 with a ninth inning walk off double. What more can I say, "what a mess..."

(devil) Rays v. Red Sox

Anyone who saw Wednesday's game knew that this was coming Thursday night. I love that post game interview with Coco calling the Rays a bunch of little girls. He's ready for another round. (btw- Shields, you need to connect if you are going to take a swing like that. I am convinced Coco spent a couple hours in the ring sparring before this game)

As a Yankee fan I couldn't be more pleased. I can just sit back, relax, and watch these two teams destroy each other. Or even better, I can watch these Red Sox self destruct. How many Red Sox injuries were there on Thursday night, or even in the last week? What about that bitch fight between Manny and that bald fucker Youkilis in the dugout? That can't be good...

I prefer walk off pinch hit homers for my team. This should be a good Yankee weekend. Summer is here. Four versus the Royals in the Bronx. Not to mention that Posada is back. Now it is time to get serious and remind the A.L. East of who is really in charge.

A Moose is loose in the Bronx- but the Yankees are still sub .500

HOLY SHIT! the yankee bullpen didn't implode tonight. Mussina pitched six masterful innings. some other clowns came out and didn't shit their pants, and Mariano had to come out in a non save situation just to run the mop and make sure that a win is a Win. 9 wins for the moose. yankee ace, by the way... (his 9th win of 2007 came in september). and he didn't look like an old man at all, this was a great performance.
Jeter also passed Mantle on the Yankees hit list, he is a living legend along the lines of gehrig and mantle and dimaggio. it's like watching history. beleive it.


in other news: Coco Crisp is going to get hit in his face tomorrow. I'll yell "DUCK" now...

From the Desk of Brother Bartles: on pitching

Well I think we are about a 1/2 game out of first place at first pitch tonight.

A few notable notes from Brother Bartles:

Our young pitching: Has vastly surprised nobody. We knew Lester was going to be a big time pitcher when he started off 4-0 in mid-'06, he just had a few bumps in the road. Bucholtz looks to have more potential than even Lester! Only problem is that he doesn't seem as durable. Oh, we should mention Papelbon, he's been around since mid-'05 and been getting paid less than a million a year to be our lights out man, he's completely taken for granted. Delcarmen has been steady in the bullpen. And lastly Masterson looks to be a top 3 starter someday, he's just so good you hardly notice he isn't giving up any runs.

As for the older guys: Wakefield, jeez I feel like one day i'll bring my first born to see him pitch and this hypothetical kid hasn't even been born yet. Schill, who cares really...just retire dude but really thanks for the memories...you're the man...now go away. BARTOLO COLON! former cy young winner, signed to a minor league contract during spring training. That was a Cashman-like signing if there ever was one. Timlin, every time we say he's done there he is in the playoffs killing innings.

Prime years pitchers: Beckett, god, I hope we re-sign but he is going to make a disgusting amount of money if he stays healthy. Dice-K, what's he like 8-0 and on the DL? I'll take that...he hasn't been the force of nature we thought he would be, but he hasn't exactly struggled either.

not mentioned: craig hansen (horseshit), javier lopez (good young lefty reliver), david aardsma (who throws 100mph!) hideki okajima (anyone seen this guy lately?)

fucking fuck shit with these joba rules...

WHAT THE FUCK! this isn't spring fucking training. somehow the yankees got ass fucked by judge reinhold and ended up trading places with the tampa bay fucking rays. it just goes to show that sometimes payroll has nothing to do with a winning baseball team. the horror- the fucking shitting fred savage mother fucking horror... fuck these joba fucking rules and fuck you 2 and a third fucking innings....and then you bring in another fucking kid who has never pitched in a major league fucking game? are you fucking serious? are you shitting me? or shitting on me? is there anyone in that bullpen besides fucking mariano who can pitch a cunt sucking inning??? why not make mariano a fucking starter??? is goose gossage still alive??? what the fuck! i never thought i'd ever be happy to see mussina on the mound, even though he can only manage five pussy assed innings per start...which one of those cock smoking assholes is going to give up a lead tonight??? fuck it. what can you buy for 218 million these days? obviously not as much as you can buy for 44 million. perhaps i am getting a bit heated about this... i'm gonna' go listen to some zappa and try to relax.

Yes, It's True!!!

Matsui is leading the league in batting avg...

Mussina is tied for the league lead in games won...

and Joba starts Tuesday...

manny/499

hey homes you hear i like de 499 or someting? that's cool but what number comes next? sometimes when we like on de road, jknow?, i eat the hot dogs in the trash after the game. my favorite dugout to sleep in like kansas city, cause they don't have any bugs. de janitor there is named eh, hector. he's a good guy. hey man, seattle is like far away bro we had to take the silver bird again.

since the loss of gary sheffield yankees 75% less scary

oh, they are scary . believe me.

Signs Of Life

A.L. East - Run and Hide

Arod has hit 3 homeruns in his first 2 games back. (despite what the umpires called).
Joba is being transitioned into a starter.
Rasner has won his 3rd start in a row.
Yankees domination is always just around the corner...

when you were young and your heart was an open book, you used to say...

here's a link about the yankees, i didn't really read it but i saw a picture of giambi wearing a gold thong, so i figured hey...this looks cool.

http://www.withleather.com/?start=6

yankee spirit?

it is getting rather difficult to watch most of these games. i don't have much more to say. where is the spirit? where is the spark, the yankee magic that i remember?

sweep!

A pretty damn good Yankee weekend. Wang, Mussina, and Rasner all get wins, holding The Mariners to 4 runs over 3 games. Thankfully, Kennedy is sent back to AAA. Bats are finally making contact with the ball. Finally, a series of games that I didn't have to get angry while watching. Good times, good times...

youk gets 4 rbi's, rays like lose or something

Dude I told you that chick was crazy, so she ties you up and starts whipping you? thats fucked up.

hughes sidelined with mysterious burning in his chest, in a related story johan santan goes 31-2 on the season, says psychic.