Christmas facts to facilitate your holiday celebrations

Christmas Facts

1. Sinterklaas is Santa Claus' retarded half-brother.
2. Saint Nicholas has a reputation as a friend of children because of various legends that include resurrecting children from death and saving them from prostitution.
3. He rides a white horse called Amerigo over the rooftops.
4. Having triumphed over evil, it was said that on Saint Nicholas' eve, the devil was shackled and made his slave.
5. Sinterklaas passed through a rainbow with his boat
6. Black Pete (zwarte piet) was said to be an imported African servant of Saint Nicholas. Today however, a more politically correct explanation is given: Pete's face is said to be "black from soot" (as Pete has to climb down chimneys to deliver his gifts).
7. Sinterklaas traditionally arrives each year in November by steamboat from Spain (which is odd as he lives in a palace in Madrid - a city without a port!)
8. Children put their shoes next to the chimney of the coal fired stove or fireplace, with a carrot or some hay in it for Sinterklaas's horse , sing a 'Sinterklaas' song, and will find some candy in their shoes the next day thrown down the chimney by a Zwarte Piet. (a bundle of sticks and/or a bag of salt for the bad children
9. Bad children will be put in the gunny sack in which Black Pete carries the presents, and be taken back to Spain.
10. After visiting all the children Sinterklaas silently returns to Spain.
11. Giraffes do not exist

(eleven is more of a personal opinion than an actual Christmas fact.)

(one fact that is omitted from this list is that the baby jesus was the first to use the expression "boo-yah" ,and that in his teenage years he spent a year in rehab kicking his nasty frankincense habit...)

(i know that's not funny, but not all jokes work, now do they???)