1st PLACE

The Yankees haven't been in sole possession of 1st place since the last game of the 2006 regular season. holy cow, indeed... 

*** update: RED SUX LOST AGAIN!!!

the New York Yankees will beat your ass!!!!

tonight is the first night of this season that the full lineup is in order. jeter - damon- tex- arod- cano- posada- matsui- swisher- gardner. tough as hell. (except for swisher and gardner). and cervelli did an excellent job as catcher when posada and molina went down. they had 30 hits in 3 games in texas. they are currently beating the indians and boston lost, look out for sole possession of first- because THEY WILL NOT LET IT GO! girardi will keep wang in the pen, which is a mistake, but atleast he's not having a fucking heart attack like francona is. btw- did that ump eject evryone from that fucking sox/ twins game yesterday? where was zambrano to set that ump straight???

*** in other news: they are having an airshow over the beach this weekend. i kept thinking i was under attack all afternoon/ flashbacks from the war, i guess.....

*** and there we go! Yankees in first! that's it... Mariano Rivera is the greatest closer in the history of baseball, and we all take him for granted. he doesn't do a dance or make a face or feel the need to act like a john rocker ripoff like papillbum and k-rud does. pappilbum can't even suck the sweat from mariano's brow- not to mention the fact that Mariano doesn't sweat... 

Freaking Dice-K...1. He takes his sweet time on the mound 2. It feels like he's never had a 1-2-3 inning in his career 3. Get 'em out of here

(AP)

Sox walk on wild side

Even with the Red Sox equaling the modern-day record with six wild pitches, just one base runner that advanced on a wild pitch scored. In fact, it was remarkable that the Twins scored just four runs with all the wildness and weirdness going on last night, most of it in the vicinity of George Kottaras.

"Fuck me, there goes the baby!!!"

i have really seen enough of jose fucking veras coming into games just so he can dick around. at least the yankees were leading 8-0 in this one, but evry game veras comes into just falls to shit. he walks a man an inning, and he always gives up a homerun. enough, already. joba to the pen for the 8th, mariano has his 9th, and patch the rest. BUT YOU CANNOT BE PATCHING A GAME WHEN YOU HAVE AN 8 RUN MOTHERFUCKING LEAD!!!! fuck you... mariano shouldn't have to pitch in games when you have an 8 run lead. let's face it: hughes can take joba's place, and Wang will magically remember how to pitch. let's not blow Burnett's first win in 8 starts, fuck me- what are we paying him for, btw?

*** wang pitches a lights out 8th and 9th. it's time for him to start again. matsui hits two homers, which is good to see, and tex is a monster, as is most of this Yankee line up. (except swisher, who needs some days off). and look who is tied for first in the a.l. east. the pennant race starts this year in late may- BRING IT ON. the red sux can ONLY fail. they haven't won a legitimate title in what? 91 years???

 

unfinished business

brady is back in camp this week....we have some unfinished business. the giants ruined what would have been a third super bowl mvp trophy and a fourth ring...then miracle shit happened.

hammered in the twin cites

Just got cable in the new pad. Sa-weet. Brother James..this disrespect of my team logo is unbecoming of such a "classy" organization.

I do not understand how the minnesota twins can have played like 30 years in a convention center with trash bags and folded up seats for an outfield. Likewise to the tampa bay devil rays, I heard the twins are getting a new stadium next year. Is this true? I have seen drawings of the propsed tampa stadium and it looks freaking awesome, kind of like those covered, outdoor tent concert venues...

anyway, in sox news the 100 mph phenom bard pitched last night. his off-speed stuff is 88-89 mph. yeah that's right yankees fans, the studs keep coming.

156 minute rain delay

(these first innings don't seem to be working out for you, buddy. how about the 8th instead?)

fell asleep before this one ever began. nursing my racetrack hangover, which was really just a memorial day hangover extended due to the racetrack drinks on tuesday. this game was on the ABC network channel, for whatever reason i'll never know, and they showed no updates or offered any information whatsoever that this game was going to be played. i had a dream that the yankees were in extras innings and wang was pitching in the eleventh and the yankees lost 8-7, which shows that as i slept i was still somewhat paying attention to the game but also adding facts like extra innings and wang pitching, in reality texas won 7-3 in 9 innings and Joba was junk. nothing really great ever happens in arlington, i just hope the yankees get out of there without too many injuries. it's kinda' like games in oakland and seattle, they are way too late and way too boring to pay attention to. Bruney is back on the DL, i think he pitched one inning in the last two months, i think it is time to stop thinking of him as a Yankee, and put Joba back in the pen. i spoke too soon about not getting injured, i see that melky was taken out pretty early with a strained shoulder, jesus- this is his year, 3 walk off hits and outstanding centerfield work. 

*** in other degenerate gambling news: even though i wasn't betting on tuesday

i did come up with a new catch phrase to scream out evry time my horse lost: 

"Fuck me, there goes the baby!!!"

it sounds perfect as you smash your rolled up program on the fence railing or bleacher seat in front of you.

a day at the races

today it was drinks before noon at the paddock bar. the day after memorial day leaves only the slimiest creatures around. i had ten dollars on Jelly Roll Dreams in the sixth race, i lost -i always do... we left when it began to rain.

what in the name of pesky's pole is going on here?

Nick Cafardo is a national beat writer for the globe, he's pretty good. Here's whats going on in baseball.

The Eck has been getting frisky on tv...I haven't been watching. Deadspin has the rundown.

wake is my boy...courtesy of baseball reference.

Smoltz is pitching in manch-vegas on tuesday. rehab is going well. tickets are 8 bucks...yeah I think I swing that.

c'mon brother james, bring back my hanging sox.

my thoughts on basketball

1. i think there is something ugly in evryone that wants to see orlando v. denver
2. let's give lebron a couple years before we make him MJ times 10. god, what is he gonna' get caught doing? it is inevitable. i mean, the media even ruined john and kate plus 8...
3. who are these people who cannot tell when their beer is cold enough to drink? and 3b. who are the people who drink coors light? YOU CANNOT GET DRUNK ON COORS LIGHT.....

2 great games (or two great ninth innings)

i forget the stat that fox kept repeating, but it was something like 84 homeruns in 21 games at the new Yankee stadium. AROD hits another in the ninth (but AROD homeruns are never cheap wind current homeruns, he'd hit it out of a 500 foot right center field) and cano and melky come up with clutch hits, and another walk off win, and a pie in the face for each of them. CC on Sunday. i predict a yankee win and a clutch AROD, who could believe it.

on the other hand, i suffered through 8 innings of gay keith hernandez to see an awesome ending in the mets/sux game. still not sure what francona was arguing about after the replay of that homerun. i still can't believe the sux have lost two to the fucking gay mets, jesus- look at that awful barely double-A lineup. they don't even have enough players to play. half the mets infield is using borrowed mitts... and fenway faithful are booing ortiz? that can't be good. 

uh-oh

chien-ming wang coming into the game in the 7th from the bullpen 

is a little strange. and he gives up a homer, but who hasn't?

it's 6-1, phillies, and evry run has been scored off homeruns. 

maybe it is time to move back across the street, 

but only when the opposition is batting.

i love The New York Yankees/ 9 in a row

so much for the bullpen troubles, they pitched this whole fucking game after joba left in the top of the first when he took a line drive off the side of his knee. xrays are negative. how great is it that major league ballparks have mri machines? Cano is a monster. and it is apparent that bartles has already given up on his white supremacist, cheating, whoring - boston red sux. good riddance. James and James will be just fine.......................................

8 wins in a row

starting watching mythbusters after the swisher/cano/ melky back to back to back jacks. i think Mariano gave up a homer with an 11-3 lead, but i think the box score is wrong, because they also credit him with a save. i'll have to check my rule book and my 12 year old brain that used to read the boxscores (yes, i was alive in the pre-internet age of 1992). let's just say- homers for the yankees are great, i don't care if the ball goes out off of check swings, but homers for the opposition will not be tolerated and the situation must be fixed a.s.a.p. (oh, i see- Mariano came into the game in the 8th, when the game was still close, that's how he get's the save. either i need to watch the whole game or remember how to read box scores before i jump to conclusions. the official scorers are never wrong) (oh, and the funniest part of the game was when melky was up to bat and he fouled a ball right into his balls and he couldn't even stand up, the trainer came out and massaged him as the yankees dugout was crying in laughter and michael kay and ken singleton just sat silent, i imagine they turned the mics down and fell on the floor laughing...)

The Yankees are throwing a pie in the face of the american league

7 in a row. 10 of 11. A-ROD homers in the first, and that was all they needed. CC pitches 7, gives up 1 run in the first, that's it. (earns his salary). Bruney is back with a 1,2,3 eighth inning, and the pen has shaved their heads- to look more like Mo, i guess... that, and The Yankees score a shitload of runs in the 7th. Tex homers again. putting the AL EAST on notice: Tex + AROD = Gehrig + Ruth.... oh, i am having an excellent time. and the red sox beat toronto, which is a good thing, the real AL EAST (evryone but baltimore) needs to smack toronto back down to size.

4 game sweep/ 6 in a row

Yankees win. Arod homers. Tex homers twice. Mo unavailable but somehow the pen pulls it off, barely. 6 wins in a row. 3rd series win in a row. bring on the orioles, it's shaping up to be a good week.

5th straight win/ 3rd straight walk off

today it was Damon's turn to hit the tenth inning walk-off homerun. A-Rod hit one in the 7th as well. that's 3 straight walk off wins and 3 straight pies in the face... holy shit! red sox, who? tampa, who? toronto, who? 

IT'S YANKEES ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 as long as he's hitting homers, we love him. if he fucks up, well - it's back to this:

an A-BOMB from A-ROD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(probably not my best effort on this picture, but it'll have to do for sunday morning)

AROD hits a walk off homer in the 11th. Tex has some major clutch hits, 4 for 4 with a double and a 3run homer, the league has to pitch to him now, thank you arod... Yankees win again. Joba doesn't fuck up in the 1st (because he pitched an inning in the pen before the game with coaches standing in there with bats and evrything) and the bullpen only fucks up a little, but not enough to lose it. i'll live with that until Bruney get's back next week. 

in other sports news: 

• there is a reason i don't actually bet on horses, i just speculate. i always lose, but i never lose any cash. this is the first time since pat day used to race that i think the jockey is more interesting than the horses ...
• and could anything be more boring than watching kobe play basketball with 900 cameras. i don't care if spike lee thinks his ankles are pretty, this was the stupidest fucking thing i've ever seen. proving my point that basketball does not require any strategy whatsoever, no matter how important kobe and phil try and make themselves...

magic in the bronx

almost shit my pantz watching this one. and if you didn't see it, then don't expect me to explain it. damon gets booted for showing the ump how wrong he was. tex wants to kill gomez for almost breaking his arm, twice. gardner gets an inside the park homerun, followed by a triple in his next at bat.(and the only reason gardner is in the game is because damon got himself ejected). melky hits a walk off 2 run single. YANKEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arod is walked 4 fucking times... and i am sick of arod haters. especially red sux fans. 2004 and 2007 are invalid championships. asterisks.********************************, like this. without manny and ortiz (big fuck up) the sux don't win shit. now manny is suspended and ortiz is a FUCKING JOKE!!!!! fuck the al east. it's all YANKEES from here on out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thoughts on other sports

it is free beer friday and i have a sunburn (wondering if sunblock expires, because i smell like coconuts for no fucking reason, and my forearms are bright fucking red. if someone knows if sunblock expires- please let me know) so i figured i would talk about some other sports besides Yankees baseball and North America's Team: The Buffalo Bills (i saw you, trent edwards, hitting batting practice home runs in a blue jay's jersey. let's not move The Bills to Toronto so quick, alright?)....

1. basketball: seems to me like a lot of teams are expending a lot of effort just to get the opportunity for a well rested The LeBron James to beat them into powdered bullshit...
2. hockey: tried to watch that hockey game the other night with those guys, but i seriously could not find the game anywhere. i thought i got the versus channel, but i was wrong...
3. horse racing: if my "NBC SOB STORY BETTING THEORY"  holds true, then you have to bet Big Drama. how could you not? if anyone out there is betting on either rachel alexandra or mine that bird, well- they are idiots and don't understand how to bet on horses at all. why would you ever waste a dollar on a favorite? so you can make 40 cents. you need to pick a couple of the derby losers and bet some exactas and trifectas and hope to strike gold out of your asshole that way. you don't bet the winner, you bet the price. 
4. AROD in his first game at Yankee Stadium, gots ta go!!!!!

yankees win... THHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YANKEES WIN!

CC pitches 8 dominating innings, MO is unhittable in an 11 pitch ninth inning. Yankees win! 4 wins and 2 losses on the road trip, back home tomorrow to beat up on the twins and then the orioles, again. again? we play the orioles evry week. the warmer the weather gets the better CC gets. my only question is: can someone get him a pair of pants that fit? it looks like he is wearing a tarpaulin or the sail of a bermuda sloop out there. he'd probably pitch off a lazyboy if you let him, or a barstool just like our boy david wells used to.....

it's not over yet...

(i paid more attention to these guys than the actual game itself. ken singleton and al leiter are instant comatose, murder, and death behind the mic. btw- 

does YES really need a million different broadcasters?

give me michael kay and david cone, sometimes paul o'neill, and let's call it a day... i'll never understand why ken singleton does Yankee games, all he talks about is the 1970's Orioles and earl fucking weaver.  give me a fucking break.... it could be worse, over on the mets channel keith hernandez is droning on about how fantastic, and delightfully european, San Fransisco is....jeez.......)

yankees win in a snoozer. it's what was required. 8-2, and the only interesting thing was those two jack-asses in the first row behind homeplate dressed up in umpire gear complete with the mask and evrything. this team needs to stop treading water and gain some steam by the end of this month. this is not the summer to be chasing, there are too many teams to catch. toronto will fold, Halladay can't pitch evry game. the sux will eventually crack from the lack of ortiz production and other assorted injuries that are already rearing there ugly head. it's not like john smoltz is going to be of any fucking use. as far as i'm concerned the yankees are getting all of their injuries out of the way at once. and as for the AAA bottom of the lineup, fuck- evryone has been saying the Yankees need to get younger, right? it was those kids and damon who scored all of the runs last night. damon is holding this team together, imagine that...

teacher v. student

There is nothing i enjoy more in baseball than a pitching duel, but evrytime i expect one i never get it. the problem here is i have to get one tonight, Halladay v. Burnett, because look at this fucking line up that The Yankees are crapping out onto the field tonight, i mean, seriously, what kind of Yankee line up is this to throw up against motherfucking Halladay??? yesterday was an off day,and i was relaxed, but at 5 this evening my blood is already boiling. fuck me in advance......

seriously, gardner leading off??? (are we going to the dl, jeter? probably...) and then you have melky (no swisher?) kevin fucking cash (who?) and the kid pena at the bottom of the order. i've seen scranton teams stronger than this, i mean, this IS half of the scranton line up..... it's either an idiot or an old man at every position, take your pick with this fucking team. as long as burnett pitches 9 scoreless innings, i think the yankees have a slight chance................................

7:44 pm- so far, so good. no hits through three innings, for both teams. shit, it's already the 4th inning- a half hour into the game. i can get behind that!

8:08 pm- Burnett has his nervous breakdown inning, he has one evry start, and gives up three runs. uh- oh, Swisher is pinch hitting for Matsui in the 5th, word is it's a hamstring pull for Matsui, say hi to posada and molina and wang and marte and bruney and nady and ransom and whoever else is on the DL this week. how weird is it to see fans in the upper decks of the skydome? and how much of an asshole is that guy who blows an air horn before burnett releases every single pitch??? fucking canadians, just because there are no canadian teams in the nhl playoffs , doesn't mean you have to ruin my fucking sport... i wish i had a passport, i'd love to run up to toronto and catch a game, tickets are still as cheap as $12 a game up there.

9:29 pm- well, Halladay steamrolled The Yankees. no surprise. the good news is that this game was just a touch over two hours long. the bad news is that if toronto keeps winning, halladay won't be sold off to The Yankees. but as far as time is concerned, this is how baseball should be.quicker... 162 games at about 2 - 2 1/2 hours each is tolerable. Skydome (or whatever it is now) was fucking rocking tonight, over 43,000 fans is impressive for them. impressive for anyone, this year. used to be a time when toronto and baltimore and tampa bay were second homes to The Yankees, but those band wagon fans in every city have finally decided they might as well support their own home teams- it can't get any worse than supporting The Yankees.....