congradualtaions!

I've seen so many things that made me wonder But sometimes it's hard to tell I said "Take your time" But no one was listening I walk a thin line They told me that I never would recover Still some say they knew me well I said "Stay by my side" But no one said nothin' I walk a thin line I said "Please toe the line" But no one was listening I walk a thin line I said "Fate takes time" But no one was listening I walk a thin line.

fleetwood mac/ Walk A Thin Line

***

I was just asleep. Getting asleep and this song woke me up. And the round about route I've taken to get to Fleetwood Mac appreciation. Tusk haunts me, it truly does. Even more so the Camper Van Beethoven version, which is my favorite. Anyways, today I saw a picture of someone I was absolutely crazy in love with when I was a younger man (boy). I thought it was strange how sometimes I forget people exist in their own universe, not just in my memory. There are a lot of people caged up in there from the late nineties. The picture brought back a lot of feeling which is strange in it's own right. It feels like my brain is waking up from a coma, like it's some big bubbling stew of neurotransmitters beginning to live again. It's not the most comfortable sensation. I've passed the 7 day mark on the calendar, but I've also passed it in my heart and through my guts. I need it This Time, and it will work. And this girl was fucking great and way beyond me. I drove her as far away as I possibly could. In the past I've blamed it on my drug use when it was just my utter and complete lack of understanding of women.(is it understanding or fear?) But that was almost ten years ago. And today was a human day. My fear is that I become too manic. That I over do it. I mean I just woke up like a rocket and immediately started searching for my headphones so I could listen to one Fleetwood Mac song, and now I'm writing this. But it's always got to be truth from now on. Every last fucking drop will be bled and I'll be free. which is kind of how it's always been. Now how the hell am I going to get back to sleep?