are we still doing this???

the snow is slowly melting away. after months, it seems. and I'm spring cleaning. wearing windex as an aftershave. since they tore up the woods to make way for some new high power transmission lines all the wildlife has gone away. i saw some satellite pictures and it made me sad. when we were kids we were explorers . now it's gone. and they removed that black bridge that crossed over the parkway, how many drunk kids have urinated off that bridge onto the cars passing below??? that was the link that allowed the trail to go all the way to the lakefront. they've cut it all away. i hate being able to see the houses behind ours. they are strangers over there. they live in a different town. I've never trusted anyone from charlotte. almost as bad as someone from irondequoit. fucking creeps. but that's not what i was talking about. all the windows are open , it's a heat wave at 42 degrees. tonight is godfather 2. i watched number one this morning. I'm just looking for anything to fill time. i guess most people go to work. or something. i don't care what most people do. i never have. I'll fix this later***

and my day was just made. i was out back taking note of some patches of green showing through white on the lawn in shirtsleeves smoking cigarettes throwing snowballs at the fence when i realized something so fucking wonderful...

...birds. the sound of motherfucking birds. the tweety ones. the crows. sparrows (whatta' those sound like?). the call of geese(gooses) somewhere in formation, it's overcast so i can't quite see 'em, but that's awlright. the silence of this winter is broken. finally. time to move on.

...and i've been thinking about new hobbies. i'd love to take up fishing. if only fishing was something different than what fishing actually is. the whole bit with the pole and the string and the boat or the shore and the water, that's all fine with me, the peace and quiet and no real need for concentration or any real effort at all- perfect...
it's the fish part that i could live without. fish are fucking creeps- i mean if i could catch fish sticks, now then we'd have a deal...


*** i got the baseball mitts out. but there's no one to play catch with. the real brother james is in vegas and my imaginary friends don't have any arms...