opening day in 2 different ways

1.yankees win. red sox lose.

2.within two hours of starting my new job i had sliced my thumb open with a utility knife blade that was in my wallet. then i had to explain to people why i keep utility knife blades in my wallet. (because i used to work somewhere that people kept taking the new ones, and in order to be assured that i always have a new one- i keep one in my wallet. but i also forgot that fact as i was reaching into my wallet looking for a quarter for the vending machine...)
then i had to tell a bunch of people that i was not a hemophiliac, even though i might be, i mean i sure do bleed all over the place. but i'll survive. i just have a tendency of doing something stupid on first days of work when i'd prefer to just be quiet. but then i got high on those great fumes that come off of wet floor wax and i thought buddhist thoughts like i used to at adidas- laughing to myself for no apparent reason eating cashews and reading fashion magazines. what a life this is.