Monday, April 06, 2009

opening day 2009 live blog


1019am: yeah, i know the first game was technically last night, but i have nevr been able to sit through more than twenty minutes of any braves game, almost as horrible as trying to watch the mets. it is a perfect day for baseball as i look outside this morning to see nothing but dark ugly skies and falling fucking snow- for christ's sake i think six months of winter is more than enough. i just read an article that argued that since the old yankee stadium is about to be torn down, fenway park is now the cathedral of sports in america. that's a lot of bullshit. yankee stadium hasn't gone anywhere, it's just gotten better. yankee stadium is yankee stadium, there is no "new one" or "old one"- there just happens to be a massive 100 ft by 60 ft hi def screen in center field now. i'll get into my predictions a little bit later, first it's coffee then it's beer... and in other beer news- ellsbury, or whoever else will man center field for the sox should be advised, yankee stadium has lifted the decades long ban on alcohol sales in the bleachers...

251 pm : mets v. reds in a scoreless game. i'd have more fun braiding nooses out of pubic hairs in a ww2 internment camp. so awful in fact that i decided to take apart the garbage disposal and degrease it, exponentially more entertaining and enjoyable than mets baseball. keith hernandez is the creepiest gayest sportscaster around (followed by buck and mccarver, and those assholes who do the whitesox games...) 
9 minutes till yankees pregame. hope it's not snowing in baltimore, the yankees will never tell you in advance if a game is cancelled.

357 pm: the rain let up and a touch of class came out in baltimore as they introduced the yankees bench to beck's song "loser", and the starters are introduced to the star wars "imperial death march", and even the assistant trainer and bullpen coach get a healthy dose of boos...

651 pm: matsui reminds me of how much i missed him last year as he homers in the 7th to bring the yankees within one. i don't care if he can't barely walk the bases, as long as he keeps smashing shots like that i will be satisfied, he was always a liabilty in left field anyways... c.c. was not sharp. not even good. and knowing the yankees luck with free agent pitchers i was extremely worried that inbetween each inning he sat on the bench with a heating pad strapped around his ribs. 

758 pm: well, so much for the yankees undefeated season. i really thought that this would be the year that they went 162- 0, but i say that evry year. i hope the orioles enjoy the win, because in the a.l. east they don't have shit to be excited about. this division is a beast and they are the bitch. on the other hand, IT IS SO FUCKING GREAT to have baseball back again. i can be ignorant to politics again, and get all of my news from the daily show and colbert report and the vaginamonoblogs metrognome... btw- did you see obama shit his pants in turkey as they fired a canon shot after the national anthem? fucking classic..... goodnight. red sox/ rays coverage tomorrow. 

5 comments:

oilandcloth said...

Sox v. Rays got postponed I believe. How on earth you think the yankees starting rotation is better than the sox. Oh well time will set your ass straight. The NEW yankee stadium looks awesome but the new cowboy stadium looks amazing! My pre first pitch prediction: steinbrenner dies, yankees win division but lose in playoffs to the angels, again.

Anonymous said...

the yankees have 5 aces. that's hard to beat. red sox have 3, maybe... and roy halladay will be a yankee by mid- july, which is unfair and fucking beautiful...

oilandcloth said...

In the playoffs all you need are two proven playoff pitchers (lester, beckett have both pitched in clinching series games) to win. Cc sabathia is arod 2.0 (the playoff ghost)

Anonymous said...

PLAYOFFS???? game 1 out of 162 hasn't even begun. PLAYOFFS?!!!

btw- it's going to be a great year. good luck...

Metro Gnome said...

Conan Old Timey Baseball.