another t.v. dream

if i could live on the first cup of coffee i would be fine. if that feeling could support me i'd certainly get something done in this life. i've got all the decorations out but i'm not sure i want to put them up. it only means to take them down again. and what happened to another week. sober but i still missed most of it. my job search has reached an all time low and i realized i haven't left this house in ten days...dreamt i had open heart surgery. not a heart attack. instead my heart was in the wrong place, no joke. and dr. romano performed the surgery. as they were putting me under i kept questioning the fact that he got crushed by a helicopter years ago- or something like that. i was so pleased by the surgery because it gave me the perfect excuse to just sit around for a couple more months....it's exhausting feeling in amongst the millions fighting addictions. i just need it out of my head.everyday to wake up praying "god help us jesus god and baby jesus help us..." but 'tis the season. and that's where coffee comes in.