decree

Bartles and James will only be dealing with weather. Bartles and James will only be dealing with weather and television. Bartles and James will only be dealing with weather and television and baseball. Bartles and James will only be dealing with weather and television and baseball and giraffes.

• Weather- made the mistake of going outside tonight to warm up and brush off my mother's car with just my house slippers on. it was a cold that froze my toe bones then my ankle bones then my leg bones then my ass off. I'm not sure how cold a witch's tit is, but I'm sure four degrees is colder...
• Television- ace of cakes is the only television show worth watching. if i was stuck on a deserted island with only one half hour of television to watch, it would be Thursday at ten thirty on the food network. ace of cakes just fucking rocks!!!
• Baseball- i found "all" of my baseball cards today. thousands of cards I'd spent so much time and money and passion as a child collecting. i say "all" because as it turns out, my brother sold all of the one's that were worth any money for pot money when he was in high school. i would have done the same if i wasn't so high when i was in high school to realize i could have sold them.
• Giraffes- giraffes do not exist...