I only give you my situation

Traded alcohol for xanax plus the final theatre showing of Marie Antoinette last night. I was going to go it alone as a part of my new resolution to accept my psychosis and go it alone more often but Cory wanted to come and I couldn't resist the desire for affectionate company. I am weak.
That movie gives me the most intense feeling, gorged on contentment. It's.

nice.



I invited him in for "sixty minutes" cos I'm sooo clever and cute and funny!! AH AHA. I was way too comfortable from the drugs and that movie. I was laying down on my bed with my legs up against the wall and my hair on my face going "Oh my goooddd I serioossly hate Justin Timberlake right nowwwww." Blushed cheeks and putting on the Cure and violently cuddly affection. In the morning he emailed me a story he had written about our other night together. There were bees in my closet in the story and he had to ask them not to sting me and they said okay. I'm a sucker for crazy boys who are writers and also have girlfriends, apparently.



But today I felt great. Guilt-free! Woke up covered in dried menstrual blood and went downtown to pick something up. The girl in the office at school gave me my book and said my full name like it was very magical. "Uh yeah, thats me."


"I'm in your Queer Studies class"


"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't notice"


I should've been nicer but it just doesn't come naturally. I walked all the way home in the warm spritzing rain. It felt great. I'm trying to not drink all weekend. We'll see. JC is trying to get me to go out. My husband-ish keeps texting me about how sad it is we aren't together. And Abbey Road is on again.
But oh, that magic feeling.



Oh, where to go?





Its a stretch, brother james, but I have a little hope today. Soon we'll be away from here, step on the gas and wipe that tear away.