Trophies

Sailing, America's Cup, classic, but very outdated...you know what? I love it.

I hate this trophy. First of all, it says "Sears" in larger type than it says "Champion", pretty much summing up why college football is a corporate joke at this point. Completely non-functional crystal football (that detaches by-the-way). Somebody will drop this thing, then what? This is for college football btw.

You know what this is a nice trophy, congrats to NASCAR for not completely fucking up. In fact I heard that if you can carry the beer, you can bring as much as you want into the stadium for the race. Meanwhile, if you're halfway tanked at any other sporting event you get booted. I'm coming around to this "sport". This trophy looks like a vagina, not that I've seen one before.

This is the basketball trophy, actually seems to represent it's own sport in action, which is nice. Again not a fan of gold, but it works here. Got a good thing goin' until you get down to the base, doesn't fit in with the flow of the trophy at all.

This is what you get if you win the big one in hockey, not that anyone gives a shit about hockey anymore. When's the last time you saw someone watching hockey? Best part about this trophy is that there is a silver cup on the top, so it's functional. I think the black base kind of ruins the streamline of the silver though.

The Tour de France ain't just a bike ride, it's the length of a marathon, everyday...for a month! And what do you get? A fucking ceramic and a yellow shirt.

Mark my words, someday, someone, somewhere...will be murdered by this trophy. Very phallic looking and very hard to win, considering only teams from the U.S. compete for it. Fingerprints will be smudged all over this thing and players don't care...they kiss it. Incredibly simple design.

The most respected tournament in tennis, Wimbledon. On the left, the men's cup, on the right, the women's..uh...plate? These trophies are really old and you tell just looking how frilly they are. I'll admit it though, whenever I see someone crying and holding up these trophies I get a little teary. Also, important to note is that the whole world is invited to win it.

This is the trophy that is given to the best soccer/futbol team in the world. Every four years the chance to win this trophy gives every body in the world a flu orgasm (don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about). About a foot tall, it's the smallest trophy in the bunch, but don't expect them to redesign this one anytime soon. It's curvy and symbolic of the desire that people have for it. I like this one a lot because it's designed to be passed around and kissed.

This is the trophy you get when you win the "World Series" though none other than North America is allowed to compete. Not very streamlined it looks fragile, pointy edges usually are not a very good idea a parties with large people. That said this is the trophy I've always wanted to hold. I don't know what the flags stand for (I'm guessing the teams) but they seem less than practical. I do like the base of the trophy though. I don't like the gold, can you say "old money".

This is the newly created "World Baseball Classic" trophy, this is a baseball tournament where the entire world is invited, assuming they can put a team together. I'm very much a modern art fan, but again with the pointy edges! How are you supposed to not get hurt by these trophies in the heat of celebration? The chrome reminds me of when I bought cd's and I got my fingerprints all over the liner notes. Again, I like it but I don't love it.