some new writing rools...

i am imploring you, Bartles! to find the original writing rools. if indeed those still exist. until then, here are some new ones...

• Inflatable Hearts

If you want to write creamed corn, write it. I want to write like that Everwood show, heartwarming stories about morality and forgiveness, never as edgy as those Gilmore Girls...

• Too Little

Pick up where Hemingway's spent shotgun shells left off. Eliminate any and all useless words. Spend a lifetime trying to "write one true sentence..."

• Too Much

Write with nothing but unnecessary words. Like McClanahan, use three or more pages to describe a pubic itch.

• Grammar School

Learn about punctuation, capitol letters, and the very fundamentals of grammar and it's use within the english language. Just learn it, you do not have to use it.

• Beauty in Bank Heists

"Sans haine, Sans violence, et Sans arme"

You can borrow here and there from your friends stories, but it is advised that you tell them first. You never know when your lotto numbers will hit, and then you'll have a lot of explaining to do. If you are going to steal you should do so w/o hatred, violence, weapons. elevate everyone always... Do not end up like our Bonnie and Clyde.

• Avoid Senseless Destruction

Treat all your writing like the library of fucking congress. DO NOT burn all yr. notebooks. DO NOT leave all your writing in the apartment you are being evicted from. You will only have to write it all over again, and you will, taking away energy from the NEW writing you should always be doing.

• There Is No Original Thought

Everything has been written before. In every form. It has been written much more effectively and ever so beautifully. What matters most is how you respond to this threat.